Now I'm kinda doing a 180. I don't nag and I focus on myself. Don't contact her unless important. I stay positiv and happy around her. I also listen, ask follow-up questions, show I care. I don't talk about our relationship or anything negative/positive about it. I have to better myself, if not for her then at least for me, my kid and who ever will be my spouse in future.
Good for you, these are absolutely the right things to do! It sounds like maybe you've read DR, but if you haven't then pick it up because it'll help you with this.
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Today I had the kid, she called me a couple times about not so important questions and then she came by and made dinner for all 3 of us. Then later took the kid and went home. She still come across as certain.
That's great, sounds like the two of you are getting along well. You're on the right track. Don't expect there to be an immediate turnaround though, this is a slow process and it can take many months.
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I really want us to work things out. I truly want to change for the better, regardless of our future or lack of it. I can't force her to stay. Don't really know what to do.
You're doing fine with staying happy and positive around her, minimizing contact and not pressuring her about the R. Keep it up!
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I'm thinking to go solo in couples therapy. Should I ask her to join? I don't want to cramp her.
No, I wouldn't try to get her into counseling, too much pressure for where she's at right now. Save that for if/ when she expresses interest in reconciling.
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Am I doing 180 to early?
180's are a critical part of the process and it's not possible to do them too early. Take stock of everything you did wrong in the R and do 180's on ALL of those things. Do not tell your GF that you're changing, just do it and give her time to notice. She will notice.
