I found the book at the library and read it in one day. The book seems to assume that I am still living at home. Unfortunately I am not. There is a section about my situation, and I am trying that.
Many of us here are living away from our spouses. The DB'ing techniques apply whether you're together or not. In general it's easier for your spouse to see your 180s if you're under the same roof, but it's still possible to show her change if you're separated. Especially when you have kids because you can reach out and connect with them in new ways and that will get communicated back to your W.
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I am 35, and she is 31. I was quite isolated during the marriage. We lived separate lives. My main goal was for she and the kids to leave on the weekends, so I could be alone. We have never truly had a close relationships. We lived like roommates. We were married, but only legally. She worked late twice a week, and I left the house twice a week to be by myself.
Wow. Well you've got a bunch of 180s you need to do right there! You need to know that your W is not interested in that version of you (and rightfully so) or in that version of your M. You need to show her a different you that she would want to be married to. That's going to take a lot of effort on your part and a lot of time on hers.
