Thank you so much AnotherStander, I'm so glad I have got support here so quickly and your kind words and advices are so appreciated. I tried to talk to my sister-in-law but she doesn't understand what is going on. And she influenced me somehow and I didn't like the outcome.
I think many of us here can relate, most people tell us to just give up on the marriage and walk away. In today's society marriage is disposable, few take it seriously. Even my marriage counselor told me it was over and to give up. This is one of the few places where you'll find hope, so visit often!
Quote:
At this moment, it's really hard for me to have hope ( Just like my title of this post I guess..) but I'll work on improving myself. And I feel so much better to read your reply. Before this my only support are my parents....
Read DR, it'll give you much more hope. Reading DR really helped me feel for the first time that there actually was a chance of saving my M. When you read about all the stories similar to your own, and then come here and read threads where others have gone through the same things as us and still reconciled, it'll make you feel much better about the chances. Unfortunately there are no guarantees, but with patience and hard work you've got a good chance of saving things.
Quote:
Sometimes, it's hard for me to believe that he would care about how I look.
DR talks about how you need to think back to who you were when your H fell in love with you, and you need to get back in touch with that version of yourself. Chances are you were mysterious, interesting and had a lot of PMA (positive mental attitude). You may not have any of those characteristics right now, but you can again.
Quote:
I met him twice since the D talk. I cried the first time and got sad the 2nd time for his distant behavior, so, I don't think I'm really capable of doing what i want to show him at the moment
DR will give you tips on how to behave around your H, and will also explain to you why you do not want to behave like you described above. It's OK, pretty much all of us started out on the wrong foot before discovering DB. But it's important to stop that behavior and start adopting DB'ing right away.
Quote:
Reading these books are scary but the same time very helpful. I say scary cuz it saddens me to see how everything happened between us fell into exactly what the author knew and tried to let people know long time ago..
Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I had read DR and the 5 Love Languages years ago instead of months ago. But it's never too late
