yeah, trust me... 2 years ago i would have said you're insane... now i realize it's about 20 minutes lol
my life has been moving forward and some of that is what has triggered this semi-relapse i guess. i am doing really well and enjoying life and part of that makes me feel guilty... like i've left her behind. maybe that's ridiculous but it's how i feel about it. and every time i start to feel myself getting close to another woman i just get consumed with guilt. plus i just miss her a ton lol
when i don't contact her she will contact me if there is a reason to but it is usually short and cordial but no openings ever pretty much. i'm trying to introduce the idea to her of me being her friend but i think that the hold up for her is that if she admits that i'm worthy of being a friend it invalidates her reason for wanting a divorce... then she has to feel the guilt that comes along with thinking she caused a lot of pain to someone that is actually a pretty good person. she would rather just keep it in her head that i am the bad guy she convinced herself that i was (or would be after divorce) and if she doesn't expose herself to me then she can't be proven wrong.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
