I will preface my comments by saying that I have not followed AT's sitch since the beginning and I have only read the recent posts on this thread.
That said, I have noticed that the people who advocate staying in limbo by declaring your undying love and doing whatever the wayward wife says she wants/needs are still in limbo themselves. The people who are advising a tough love stance on the affair have done this themselves with success, either by saving their marriage or moving on and now live happy lives.
I'm all for the betrayed spouse taking responsibility for their own contributions to the breakdown of the relationship, for making self-improvements and getting a life. But I know from my own experience and that of many, many others on this forum and other marriage sites that the infidelity must end before you can work on repairing the marriage.
P.S., I'm the Pearl that Chatter referenced upthread. I'm happily married now largely due to the support of Chatter, Starsky and others I met here.
I'm positively honored to hear from you Pearl.. And Starsky, Chatter, Denver and many others are helping me tremendously through my sitch. I'm glad to have you aboard!
I absolutely agree with you that the A needs to end to see positive changes... Its just so hard for me sometimes to simply WAIT IT OUT... even though I know it's the only thing I can do... Aside from all the other things I'm doing to better myself of course!
I have absolutely taken responsibility for all the things that I've recognized thus far when it comes to my role in the breakdown of this R... And while I'm working to better those, I'm working to better myself (and they're not mutually exclusive of course).
Thanks again for your words! Hope to hear from you again soon!
