That's why I didn't sent that "text" and figured it a safer option to post here rather than keep getting tempted to send it.
The ultimatums, well I'm pretty much at my wits end, I'm starting to wonder if I want to bother anymore. Hence why I'm on the verge of saying ILYBINILWY, it's a sucky position to be in.
Perhaps I've now made it clear to her that she is replaceable, that if this ends I'm going to survive, that if I want to end it I'm going to end it...hence why she said, "I feel like you don't want me here."
It's coming off crueler and crueler though I guess. Making demands, you're right, it doesn't feel good. And me having a 1 month deadline for change, well that's turning me into the WAS instead of the LBS.
I'm already pissed again today b/c I found out that she made plans for this Sat night. So once again, no kids and she's heading off with family. I might as well be single at this rate.
Ranting and raving aside, proof is in the pudding right? Last week when I stopped asking questions, when I didn't text her all day, when I was just upbeat and content around her, things ever so slightly got better. We have a nice Wed night. It's after I stopped those things that it went back to such a bad place.
So, I have my answer, if I want it to work with her then I need to do what I was doing last week and make sure not to backslide again. Focus on the goals I outlined, the behaviors I will be doing, and the baby steps I'll see. Get rid of the internal deadline and just have patience.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
