I am doing db best i can manage- don't talk about r; don't talk about "it", ow, our life. just cruise along acting like i'm having a life. i hate it all sooo much- the duplicity and acting like it's okay. it's soooo not okay.
i know you probably know what i'm saying. i wonder sometimes if it's worth bothering about- i feel it is, then i think perhaps it's wishful thinking on my part. maybe i'm wrong as wrong can be (in light of finding out i've been wrong about him soo many years !!!) how can i trust my gut or brain? maybe he has decided the portion of his life with me in it is dead and over (tho he doesn't end it) and i'm just treading water.
what the????oh well- the confusion is a killer isn't it? guess i'd better go find a person to hang with or go get busy and quit giving in to my feelings. they come and go (according to mwd) i'd never really viewed feelings tht way before reading her books - i guess it's true. they are just what they are at the moment- subject to change at the drop of a hat- an icecream sunday, a nice compliment, etc. i'm clinging to that and hoping they improve today.
take care- good luck - write any time- love commiseration & the support really is helping me alot. good luck- keep strong nero
I know your pain and I am sorry you are going through it -- I feel thesame way some days that it's just not worth it -- then I look at my son and how much he loves the 3 of us as a family - I know that if this were my wife she could never act like this and if I were acting like this she would fight for me too --- I will keep you in my prayers Nero !!
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
