AnotherStander, yes u r right! I have reached a point of emotional calm but yes this can change! Just spoke to W, calmly at first and then another barrage from W now about how I don't trust her enough to pay her rent, don't support her, how she hates having to ask me, then do I want her to beg, that I owe it to her and the kids, that she is asking this one thing for me to support her with.
Bottom line, I cannot afford the rent if she defaulted. She can barely afford it and given her track record with money it is a risk. I don't trust her in this mind set, she has been lying about various things for months re OM. Truth is I don't think she wld have any issue dumping me with the rent as well at the moment. I know that sounds horrible, but how do I trust someone who has lied, thinks what she does about me in the last 12 months. I cannot risk it. If I was sat on a pot of money then it maybe wld be different. But I am not! She thinks I am trapping her, that she has no choice but to leave and that she has no other option to find a house unless she has a guarantor. Which has to be me cos no one else can do it.
I can understand her position but she thinks I can't possibly understand otherwise I would do it. That I don't care about her etc
Not sure about DB it feels like I am on the path to a quicker divorce! But I just can't back down on this and am making things worse. She even asked me to move out, well shouted at me to move out. I said it is her choice to move out, I accept that is what she wants but I am not going anywhere.
She said she wrote the letter to explain why this was so important for her.
Okay-i am starting to feel like this is a make or break sitch now! That she will look back on this and remember how I did not support her. That any chance of friends has blown out of the water.But that is what she wants me to feel? Like this is my chance to redeem myself and I failed.
I am v confused about what to do now. Our relationship has just taken a nosedive, I have confirmed her feelings that she is doing the right thing because I can't possibly care about her and kids. Communication is at an all time low.
Presumably just keep going? And expect even worse?
I am waiting for her to admit affair - she knows that will hurt me and she is all out for that at the moment. Once she admits to this I think the worst will be out. But then she loses the victim status with family and friends so I may be wrong. I think her family have seen thru this anyway. Her sister has asked me to go over for a weekend and her family told me that our sitch does not change anything with them. I am not telling them anything and encouraged them not to try and talk her round at the moment. Just to be there for her if she does want to talk.
Any advice anyone? Do I continue down this path or try and change course.
