Lifting my eyes to the hills...

[ces67]

Hey Ro. I'm sure there are many theories about what your H is thinking/feeling when he says stuff like that but in the end, unless he's willing to tell you, its all mind-reading. And that typically does not turn out well for any of us..:)

I hope your week goes well. Regardless of what your H decides to do, your journey is far from over and there are very good things along the way. Keep looking for them and don't let the confusion of others distract you from those good things. They are meant to be blessings for you so enjoy them.

And as far as this statement:

Maybe for some people, having long drawn out conversations help. Not so much for me. I've always depended on just me for the most part, so I'm having a hard time leaning on people during all this.

Think about this some more for yourself. Its ok to be independent, but don't be misguided to assume that means being closed off to others. I could be off-base on this so if it doesn't apply, you can discard it.

Something I'm working through is about living with an open heart. From what I can tell from life, study, reading, etc, that to fully enjoy life you have to be willing to open your heart to all the good things around you. That however comes with risk. Any time we open our hearts we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt. We're all human and imperfect so even when we don't try we still hurt one another.

But consider the opposite. To protect ourselves we can close off and guard against that type of hurt. It can work, but the risk here is never allowing ourselves to fully enjoy the intimacy of relationships. We each have to decide which risk is worth taking for ourselves.

Take time in comfort, heal a bit...and then get the @*#*! back out there and live!! (((Ro)))