3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

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It feels like accepting who she is now would mean that i accept giving up on her.
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No this does not mean you are giving up on her. You have no choice but to accept who she is now you cannot change her. You have to let go and let her figure things out for herself. Besides, do you really think you can change her?

I wonder, if she is now looking at her drinking for one of first times since this ordeal began is making her reflect on the decisions she has made.

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This is mind reading and what does that accomplish for you?

It may take many more introspective looks and additional consequences and Yes, it may NEVER change her.
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You are speculating here.

These all are Just my thoughts. Not my actions.

Don't give up on me please.

I can't help having memories and thoughts, and feel safe sharing them here.

I am doing affirmative action steps and need to do more and continue doing so.

I have good and busy stuff scheduled for tomorrow. Try to see if my commercial property neighbor is interested once i bring them the plat of survey. Gather past 6 months bills and bring them to my accountant to proceed with HUD Hamp/Harp application process. Get past 3 years worth of deposits and payments history from my former business bank checking account. Take my son to the evening karate class. Take him to his library book reading club.

I did Not call her.

I prefer not to inform her of comments our Son has made. Guilt will not do any good, even if it's true and accurate.

1. No, i do not miss ma-ma as much as i thought i would. I thought i would be sad, but I'm only a little sad, because ma-ma was never around too much and never does anything with us.

2. Ma-ma is not part of our family dad, you and me are the family.

3. At Catechism class this past week..... I Prayed for ma-ma to come back home and get back together with you and for her to stop drinking.

I hear these and realize how it has internally affected him.

She doesn't know about this and does not have to be concerned how her/our son is being affected.

***** After reading many other threads, i see too many people start to throw in the towel, even after just 6 weeks, or 6 months.

Are they too weak, or am i too pathetic? I really wish i would have signed up on this forum 3 years ago, right when i 1st found out.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.........

I AM focusing on today, regardless of my thoughts that i shared, and am planning for many more tomorrows.

I am trying to look forward to fixing My life. It seems so desperately sunken but i still have to try as hard as i can. I lost my dreams that were once reality, but i do not want to sink any further. My son needs me to be stronger for him.

Ed it seems to me that you are extremely co-dependent on your W. I don't recall if it was suggested or if you are but you really need the book Co-Dependent No More and you have to break out of this NOW. As far as telling your W what your S has said I would not do that. Eventually your S may say it to her and that is something you cannot control. For now keep it to yourself.

I wouldn't say you are pathetic you are just as I described above IMHO you are Co-Dependent. I wouldn't call people weak who you think are throwing in the towel after 6 weeks or 6 months I would say most of them are tired of feeling down and hurt. I do think it's unusual for someone such as you to be where you are three years later. You need to let her go. Several of us keep telling you that over and over. Ed you deserve better than what you are getting from her. Time to pick yourself up dust yourself off and forge your OWN life without her. If she wants to come along for the ride great. If not well that's her loss. Only you can change you do it starting now.