I'm all for seeing the positives and hanging in there. I HOPE that's clear, based on my own timeline. I also will STIPULATE that you screwed up by having an affair. Period.
But all I see here for the past several months, is you getting a lot of crap from an angry vindictive man who holds grudges for life. You said you were sorry and unlike many, you meant it.
You HAVE done NC with OM. You really do appear to be trying. I'm not sure what else YOU can do to "earn" his trust back but I am sure he's making it as hard as HE can for you....why is that?
And he takes zero ownership of his role in the affairs - but I guess you are so miserable in self loathing and self reproach, that you cannot see his role either.
OR you can see it and have mentioned it, but you fear saying that again here b/c so many LBSers will jump down your throat. Many of us have been wounded by affairs but sometimes we choose not to look at our own parts in them. I'm trying to be Solution based here. What is going to be done to reconcile?
For ONCE, can we just focus on him and his crap attitude and treatment of you now?
See, I know you don't control him. YOU certainly know that.
Some people cannot get past an affair. If your h is one of them, let's find out NOW!
If he won't just quit the m, b/c he'd rather not "lose" - then
IMO, your h may very well wish to stay together BUT he's not up to restore the marriage. That requires HIM to change even without certainty of your changes.
I think He wants to punish you, yet he won't let you go.
Why is that?
B/C he's not done punishing you OR
b/c he wants to work on things?
I'm not sure he knows. Do you? How long are you going to be punished for the past, in front of your kids?
What do you think they are learning from this?
What ELSE might you teach them?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
