FY thought I would just say u seem to be making some good progress. I can see the change from ur first posts, which is fantastic.
Thanks. Little by little I'm beginning to feel better about myself, and starting to accept that I'll be ok even if she bails on me. I think this is the key. The positive mental attitude will be noticed by the WAS and may get them to reconsider leaving, but only if it is genuine. Your spouse will know if you are faking it. You have to truly make a fulfilling life for yourself that doesn't depend on them. Lead the way and they may follow. I still have a long way to go. The good news is it seems like I have time to turn things around.
When we get dumped we feel like trash and think "If I could only get her back I'll be happy".
But it doesn't work that way. We have to make a happy life for ourselves first, before they will have any interest in coming back. This is why the vets keep telling us to focus on ourselves.
Today I asked her if she wanted to go to scarecrow fest. She wasn't all that excited but said yes. First we went to a nice Chinese Restaurant that I chose for lunch. I complemented her for loosing weight and keeping it off. She said "We'll see if I can keep it off this winter" and "As long as I can stay away from the sweets I'll be ok."
She opened her fortune cookie (but did not eat it) to read her fortune and it said "Focus on your future plans and your dreams will come true"
D'oh! It might as well have said leave FY now. haha
I said "yes, future plans are important, everyone should have them".
We then went and watched a heavy metal band play for a while at the festival. The were hot and I knew all the songs. She enjoyed it but made sure to not stand too close to me.
We went home and did some chores separately. She made a great spaghetti squash dinner, and I came in when she was still finishing up. We talked a bit about our upcoming week and enjoyed our meal. And the coaster rolls on...
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
