Because like it or not, it may come to this and I really don’t understand how it all works, I am considering taking “Navigating Divorce” as my next online course. Is this a good idea? Anyone see any reason why I shouldn’t? Thoughts?
I won’t mention it to my wife, but she may find out when looking at the billing statement or mailed enrollment confirmation. Thanks!
Originally Posted By: Navigating Divorce: course detail
Getting through a divorce is a daunting, emotional, and disorienting process. In this course, you'll learn how to move through the divorce process step by step to gain a sense of control and stability, and emerge on the other side as a healthier and happier person.
You'll start by examining the legal realities of divorce, which can be overwhelming. This course will help you develop a good grasp of your legal options and how to pursue them. You'll also work through identity, self-esteem, and personal goals, exploring ways to feel better about yourself and your new life.
Navigating relationships with family (including former in-laws!), children, friends, and coworkers is also challenging. You'll develop the skills to clarify the status of your relationships, examine your friendships, set boundaries with your family, and more. You'll move your relationships in healthy directions and even start thinking about future love!
Along the way you'll hear stories from a number of people who've been through the divorce process. These real-life examples will give you a new perspective and help you make choices about who you want to be in the future.
Through a combination of exercises, reflections, and real-world examples, this course will help you steer through the rough sea of divorce. With the new skills and perspective you'll gain, you'll be well equipped to chart a new direction in your life.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Other than her possibly finding out, I would suggest taking a course is never a bad thing -- even on this topic as you gain knowledge and own some control over decisions, etc. It may have a negative affect making you feel like this is inevitable, but I think you more than hint that it is a possibility. It is another way to improve yourself even if hopefully you never need the knowledge. I pray you dont but support the idea of learning.
M:44 W:41 M: 12 yrs W's EA began 3/12 Somewhere between WAW and MLC Still in same house
My wife and I went out for dinner and groceries tonight. She started opening up to me regarding the turmoil she has been struggling with. She told me how her plan was to "be away from here" for her birthday. (her 50th) When clearing her vacation time with her manager, a woman a couple of years older than her, she made comments regarding aging, and the shortness of life. She said that her boss "gets it".
She then explained to me in relative numbers, just how little time she felt she had left to live. "In 20 years, I'll be 70!" "That's less time than I've been at my job!" Also: "If I live as long as my Mom, that's less time than you and I have been together."
My instinct used to be to try to put a positive spin on things... you know, try to cheer her up by telling her things aren't as dire as they seem. But you know what? THAT DOESN"T WORK! So instead I just listened, validated and asked questions.
Then I actually got a taste of what it feels like to be told how you should feel, and I too didn't like it. She said that she knows everything I've done, and that she can't believe that I'm satisfied, and don't want something more out of life. I said "I've been thinking about a lot of things."
One of her final comments on the matter sized her feelings up the best. "I'm arriving late to the party, what am I going to do about it?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Yeah, the things is every time I got to a party late and was therefore the only one sober enough to have an opinion, I ended up being glad I was late and could simply go back home and do something I enjoy with people I can talk to.
She'll come around my friend. The grass isn't greener, it's just a different shade of green.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
I scored a 97% on my "Get Assertive" course final. My hours at work have returned to 7-3, enabling me to return to my weekly meditation meet-up. Tuesday I go to an industry trade show for work to socialize with vendors and evaluate new equipment. I've been feeling better about myself and less worried about losing my wife.
The past couple of days my wife seems to be more comfortable around me and the house. Leaving or filing for D seems most unlikely. Let the monitoring continue, but I'm staying on my present course (give her space and freedom, keep myself busy) and not changing a thing.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
FY thought I would just say u seem to be making some good progress. I can see the change from ur first posts, which is fantastic.
Thanks. Little by little I'm beginning to feel better about myself, and starting to accept that I'll be ok even if she bails on me. I think this is the key. The positive mental attitude will be noticed by the WAS and may get them to reconsider leaving, but only if it is genuine. Your spouse will know if you are faking it. You have to truly make a fulfilling life for yourself that doesn't depend on them. Lead the way and they may follow. I still have a long way to go. The good news is it seems like I have time to turn things around.
When we get dumped we feel like trash and think "If I could only get her back I'll be happy".
But it doesn't work that way. We have to make a happy life for ourselves first, before they will have any interest in coming back. This is why the vets keep telling us to focus on ourselves.
Today I asked her if she wanted to go to scarecrow fest. She wasn't all that excited but said yes. First we went to a nice Chinese Restaurant that I chose for lunch. I complemented her for loosing weight and keeping it off. She said "We'll see if I can keep it off this winter" and "As long as I can stay away from the sweets I'll be ok."
She opened her fortune cookie (but did not eat it) to read her fortune and it said "Focus on your future plans and your dreams will come true"
D'oh! It might as well have said leave FY now. haha
I said "yes, future plans are important, everyone should have them".
We then went and watched a heavy metal band play for a while at the festival. The were hot and I knew all the songs. She enjoyed it but made sure to not stand too close to me.
We went home and did some chores separately. She made a great spaghetti squash dinner, and I came in when she was still finishing up. We talked a bit about our upcoming week and enjoyed our meal. And the coaster rolls on...
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
