Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

Thank you GKM. I was getting a little disheartened. I thought to myself that no one was answering because my situation was hopeless. I do have a lot of decisions to make. I'm not sure what I can do. And to add to what you said, I asked my actual best friend what he would do and he didn't have an answer either. I hate that. I am good at making informed decisions, I am good at making the call when I know what's best but I honestly don't know. I have the opportunity to make some decisions that are going to change my life permanently and I don't know what is right. I have to do something. I am usually a man of action and I feel that I need to do something but for the first time in my life I have no idea. My IC also told me that this was something that I needed to work on. I have always lived my life to a plan. I always thought I had control over what happened in my life. I know now that I have zero control over anything. I believe that God is in control of my life and que sera sera. It is hard for me to let go, I think that is maybe one of my biggest issues. But I have reserved myself to the fact that I have no idea what is best for me. This is corny but I heard a song lyric that made a lot of sense to me. "What if all you understand, Could fit into the center of our hand, Then you found it wasn't you, Who held the sum of everything you knew". Great Soundgarden song by the way. I want to crawl into a ball and make it all end most times but I find the strength to pull through and I know that with or with out her (I know, a silly U2 lyric too) I will be ok. Life goes on. I just wish it was with my wife, my soulmate.