3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

[25yearsmlc]

"When i die, i want to be remembered as a good Wife, a good Mom and a good Family member".

She wrote that in September, 2008. 2 months before her mom got ill and eventually died.

^^^she wrote That over 4 years ago....She has changed.

She might change back. But right now, the woman she was 4 years ago is irrelevant.

That was the person she was and i still want to find that buried character once again.


YOU cannot "Find that buried character". She has to find her AND decide to bring her back. She may not ever do that. She shows no signs of it.

And for all we know, THIS is who she "really" is and it's her buried character finally surfacing.

All you can go by is what IS, and this person she is now, IS who she IS NOW.

Might you be better off accepting what is?

Why not Stop having your life on hold? (And your life is on hold, make no mistake).

Why keep your son's hopes up for someone who may never show up?

What else could you be modelling for Him?



I really am taking this detachment and GAL seriously.

Good. How so?

I SO Much wanted to call her later today, but didn't. I know that would be pursuing.

and what would your goal be in contacting her? What did you hope would happen?

Did you think she'd slap her forehead and say "OMG I miss you guys. Let's reconcile!"????

Seriously, what are your expectations - and when are you going to drop them?

I didn't.

But i want to so badly.

I spent alot of time yesterday and earlier today reading through the Stickied threads, especially the ones in the mid-life crisis section, the one for MLC 101 for dummies and some other threads

If she's in MLC, and I'm not saying she is, well, so what?

I mean, there's not that much data that says she is more likely to come home. And AITL, the thing is, this "new" behavior of hers has really persisted for years.


How long does it have to go on, before you believe this is who she is now?

Has waiting around helped you at all? Or has pursuit?

The only things you really have not done, are to detach for real, and GAL.

Focus your efforts on that.