I had the talk with W. It went something like this.
W- "Well I got the final word that I will not be getting the transfer"
Me- "I'm sorry. I'm sure that's disapointing."
W- "I'm fine with it. How about you?"
Me- "I'm disappointed. I was very excited about the possibility of us going back home."
W- "Well I told you not to get your hopes up."
Me- "I know. I feel like it is fair to tell you that I am still thinking seriously about returning."
W- "What? What has changed? You have been so supportive lately? I don't understand."
Me- "I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking. You can think about it and get back with me about your feelings on the matter and your thoughts on how we could handle S."
W- "I get it. You are ready to go. You got your hopes up and don't want to give that up. You feel like you are putting your life on hold for me. I understand. But I think you should think about S.
Me- "I am not taking this lightly. I have thought about S, and I would like it if he came back with me. He will have friends and family for support."
W- "So you want to take S back while I stay here?
Me- "I just want you to think about it. That's all. Lets talk it over after you have some time."
The conversation went well. No raised voices. Friendly in tone. So the next day she calls me at noon.
W- "Yeah, I've been thinking about it."
Me- "Ok."
W- "When do you plan on leaving?"
Me- "Well that depends. I'm kinda flexible. If S is coming back too, I would like to wait until Christmas break."
W- "Well that's not gonna happen. I think a child needs their mother. Particularly at his age."
Me- "I agree with that."
W- "Can you stay until May?"
Me- "I was thinking before the end of the year."
W- "We will have to come up with some sort of agreement before you leave. I will need some money to hire a nanny to stay over some nights and possibly pick up and drop off from school. I would like it if you stayed until May because I live in a different school district and I don't want him to have to change schools so soon. I could put him in a daycare over summer so he could make new friends here before the switch."
Me- "We can come up with something. But no. I am not thinking about staying until May.
So she has the dillusion that him staying here with her is a better atmosphere for a child than what I propose. She says a Mom who will be there some days is better than a Dad who will be there every day.
I'm frustrated at her logic but I have not shown it. I am trying not to present myself as the enemy.
That said I will be seeking legal advice tomorrow.
