Acceptance - My next challenge.

[Arsene]

First of all, last night, SIL contacted me through FB to tell me about the talk she had had with W last week. In a nut shell she told me that W wasn't serious about her R with OM and that W noticed that I had made many drastic changes to the way I was. SIL said that I should just be patient and keep on doing what I have been doing. She said that W had said that she was with OM mainly for "someone to talk to".

Nonetheless there was something in the way SIL spoke/wrote that left me wondering. Something to the effect that if I eventually fell out of love then I would just have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. In our first convo a few months ago, she had told me to keep the faith and that she was convinced that W would eventually come around.

We left and went for a two hour drive to an amusement park. On the way, we stopped at a gas station for D8 to use the bathroom and W left her phone in the car. Yes, I wasn't as strong as Williams and I actually had a look just long enough to see that while in the car, after about an hour on the road, W had text OM to say "Hi Honey".

My mood went. W came back to the car with D8 and I guess her mood went as well. We drove silently for a while and I tried to focus and be cheerful again. Very difficult but I think I managed. Mind you, I had this overwhelming urge to bring it up. to bring up OM and our R and everything. Basically to have the talk that we never actually had and that I was expecting when I got back from my country a few months back. I felt hurt and I wanted to tell her how I felt. I remembered AT's talk with his wife a few days ago, and how I envied him his opportunity to speak his peace. That is why one should NOT snoop. I didn't say anything and kept it in.

So let me get this straight when you hear and see something you like and validates your thoughts and actions its Ok. As it make's you feel good about your direction.

Then when you see something that you do not like as it does not validates your thoughts and actions its snooping or a poor behaviour on your-side. As it make's you feel upset about your direction.

Actually CB, both of these were just documented as they had an impact on me and I felt they both were huge mistakes on my part. Both events mentioned were negative in my view. SIL didn't seem so adamant that all I had to do was stick with it.
She even offered that maybe I would just have to accept that it wasn't meant to be.

What is the difference here Arsene?

Both where not initiated by yourself. Both just happened.

You could only control your reactions to them.

Yet here you are after that conversation with SIL looking at your wife texting OM while out on the family get away.

So why do you weight one more than the other ?

Why do you think you should put your blinders on and have narrow vision and limit it to what you only want to see?

There are two type of people at the end of a marathon.

You will see both.

As your vision and knowledge is just limited to what you can see.

Those who are struggling and slowing down.

Those who are picking up speed and confidence.

They feed off each other for their desired outcomes.

I appreciate your input mate. I know that what happened today is probably a huge setback for my sitch and the worst backslide ever.

By now, surely you've read ACT TWO