About to separate....

[mamabird]

This is your opportunity to "be the better option." She is going to feel this way for a while. Remember, she has the option to move out if she really wants to. She is trying to make it easier on herself by asking you to move out.

She's annoyed that you won't comply with her wishes right now. Let her spin and do her thing. You'll start to have small opportunities to show her your changes and to speak in her "love language". (Read The Five Love Languages if you haven't. It's short and will hopefully help you understand some of her unhappiness).

Having been in this situation myself, I tell you that things are better now than at the beginning of this mess 4 months ago. Things might even be better then they were BEFORE this mess. We're communicating now and there's less tension between us. Far from perfect - we're still doing a lot of things separately, but it's improved, even though we're still in the same house and he has wanted me out.

It takes a LOT of patience and restraint to DB. Keep coming to the board and reading so you can feel supported. Try to stay out of the R conversations unless you feel they can be productive. Mine never are, it's just rehashing the past for the millionth time. Focus on you, focus on your kids, focus on keeping things running smoothly at home. Smile and be supportive. It is hard but it gets easier as you practice. Good luck, keep us posted!