Thanks ladies. Scared maybe you are right. I don't catch a lot of it. It is simply how I communicate and always have. I try very hard not to blame. Very hard. I had 5LL here somewhere but couldn't find it. So I ordered a new one was going to reread it. I also wanted to try to find other books on communication. Any suggestions would be helpful. I think H's LL is combination Words of affirmation and physical.
Wendylon I believe him. I did before that conversation. We had a conversation the day before that basically sorted it out. I did apologize for the way I acted and spoke to him the day before. Basically told him that several people had asked me who he was seeing or if he was seeing someone. Honestly, it brought back all of the pain and hurt from the first time. I told him that. I also admitted that I still have a lot of anger and resentment from then. Not only that, I still, obviously have trust issues. He told me point blank there is no one else. At all. I believe that. He told me about seeing his XW to prevent me from being hurt more. That is something he would do knowing how much stress the entire subject causes for me.
Hopeful- We do not live together but I can see where you would. I would too. Acts of service are definitely my biggest way of showing love. Be careful though. I think by doing a lot of things in some ways they think we are trying to control things or that we only do nice things to make up for other areas that may be lacking like -spending time together or sex. That's hard to deal with though when at this point they are not willing to do any of that anyway. That's all part of the caretaker thing. Doing the things he asks though are likely helpful.
