Stoney silence today. W not said at word. Having a reflective moment about last few days.
Lots learned. I feel I have pretty much detached. I am at the point were I don't care what she does. But am worried that my love is fading. For the first time I have thought about positives of being single. That worries me.
My instincts are permanently on protecting son. Angry still that W wld do this to him. He is innocent and no child deserves this. I will not say this to W as I know she thinks the alternative is for him to live in a bad marriage. That he will get over it! He has to convince herself of that.
I feel much stronger. Like I have been mentally tested and passed.At the same time sad that I am letting go of her. That our M as it was is truly over and there is no going back.
I am expecting the worst (M cannot be saved) but carry hope of a new better marriage. I feel I have a great understanding of the problems from our M. Of my issues and W. But for now I have to live my life for me and focus on myself and children. I will keep up with the 180s and working on myself. But I am not blaming myself anymore.
