The other thing I have noticed and has become much more pronounced the last few days is that he gets angry any time I say I feel...... It really doesn't matter what I say on the end.
Told me how I push his buttons
So I said you just proved my point on assuming you know what I am thinking and how I am feeling.
He really doesn't acknowledge his own role in our problems. Sadly, when he finally does take a look at all of it, likely it will be very very bad for him. And if he never does he will never be able to have a normal relationship.
He is the mixed signal king and I truly believe he has no idea what he wants or anything else. It's like talking to a confused, jacked up teenager.
All of the above describes my life as well. I love the assumptions of how I am feeling or thinking. No matter what I say, in some scenarios my H assumes I am saying something else because he will not listen. When he starts this, I tell him that what he said is not what I am thinking/feeling. He says yes it is. So, I've started saying, I'm not going to argue with you about how I think/feel. Only I know that. And then I move on.
My H has said all of our problems are because I push his buttons, he won't acknowledge that he pushes mine, or any of the other contributions he's made to this mess. Part of our problem is that he has hold overs from his last M, so your comment about not being able to have a normal relationship is correct.
I hate the mixed signals. One minute mine wants to be "unmarried", the next he wants me to fill his prescriptions.
I am still cooking, washing, etc because I am trying not to be vindictive. I am also working on forgiveness and forgiveness for me is not being a b!tch. I've got to wash anyway.
It is amazing how someone can be so confused, and it leaves us exhausted. Hang in there and take care of your kids. They need you, especially if they don't want to stay with him.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
