Now Separated, Am I doing the right things?

[Denver_2010]

I agree. You have been consistently 'dim' with your W for a long time now. You don't even know if she has an OM or not (which I do believe is something that totally changes the strategy).

I would do what AT suggested. Ask her how it is going. Feel it out. If she begins to open up, validate her feelings/thoughts, listen, be her friend. And then politely be the one who ends the conversation.

I also don't see anything wrong with telling your w that you do still love her, care about her, and want your marriage. I'm not sure about the timing of this though. It could fit in nicely with the above conversation depending on how long it goes and what direction it takes. Or, you might wait another few days and at some point, just tell her, "W I want to let you know...". I would make this statement once though. In other words, I wouldn't make it a habit of telling her that you love her etc. (while the S is going on of course).

The above may be what you need to shake it up a bit. But do what feels natural and right.