You're focused WAY too much on this. You put her on her heels yesterday. IMO, you are making a mistake if you contact her in any way.
If you pursue in any way, or if your actions are perceived by your W as pursuit in any way... She will continue to run farther away.
Going dark will be hard, but my prediction is that she WILL reach out to at some point. THAT is what you need to have happen to begin to break the momentum.
Denver, you're VERY right about all of this... I KNOW I'm WAY too focused on that aspect right now. I just need to turn it around in my head and on these boards a few times to help move beyond it.
I know that reaching out to her in any way is not a good idea. It will absolutely go against the stance I took yesterday. I'd be breaking my OWN boundaries... Even if she didn't lose respect for me at that point, I'd lose respect for myself, which is far more devastating.
Going back into the dark is absolutely going to be hard... Much harder this time than it was last time... But it's the right thing to do... for me at least.
And maybe now that I KNOW that SHE knows I'm not going dark because I stopped caring... it will be easier for me to be dark... And before anyone has to say it: I realize that going dark isn't for her and I shouldn't care what she's thinking, as I can't change that...
But it will help me sleep at night knowing I'm no longer sending a message that I don't care... Just that I CAN'T care until she shows signs that she's willing to work at us.
