Here’s where I am at. I am understanding I twist things sometimes, maybe a better term for it is manipulative. The crappy part of it all is that I just do it without even realizing what I am doing, not a good thing. I just started seeing an IC, which I really need.
I was supposed to be the man of the house and I failed at that. By default, W took charge of running things and most women don’t want that responsibility.
I never set boundaries and I just wanted to “make peace.” I was always so proud of myself for being “level headed.” I thought being non confrontational was a positive trait in me. Well, I had it all wrong!
I am learning that setting boundaries are important, most likely they will be challenged and tested. I never learned to say, stop! That’s unacceptable. Because I had no boundaries W could walk all over me, like a doormat. From W’s point of view, I am sure her respect for me went out the window a long time ago.
I clearly remember W making a comment to me about 5 months ago and it’s seared in my mind. She simply said, “Rough means well.” I view that remark as an upercut. While money has been an issue for so long, I am also starting to realize there are so many things under the surface which never got addressed.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a masculine guy but I need to fu%ck!ng get my balls back!
