I wouldn't worry about any of it, worry changes nothing but does sap your energy.

Just keep being the best AT you can be and she may look for you. But by then, you may no longer be looking for her. That thought may give you a little pain in the gut right now but when you get to that place it all feels right.

Funny how these things sometimes work out.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss