But I disagree that the not fighting for her is B.S. Four months with no contact? I'd figure my STB-ex was done too. I believe she was being honest with you on how she felt. There's nothing wrong with someone having a different perspective than you. In fact, that's the definition of perspective. I'm sure you didn't go no contact for no reason. It's just one of the risks of DB'g and going dark.
Now she knows. Now she can make her decision. And you can go forward guilt-free.
Hmmmm... respect your opinion crazy, and I agree that she has convinced herself that AT has not fought for her, but if she REALLY thought that, she wouldn't be dating an OM. She would be behaving in an entirely different manner, ie, depression, reaching out, etc. Not going on vacation with an OM.
My W said the exact same thing... AFTER dating OM off an on for almost a year. "it devastated me that you didn't come after me." THAT is what she said to me. Well W, WTF did you expect??? You were dating another man!!!!
Sorry. It is bull sh!t. No way around it.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
This is a very consistent theme here -- the idea that the WAS has to "convince" themselves of something. Or that their perspective is somehow "crazy." People respond to the same situation differently. I think if everyone here gave a little credence to what their spouses are telling them, instead of simply discounting it because it doesn't make sense to them, I believe many of the issues would be avoided. My H loves golf. I think it's one of the worst sports that exist. But simply because I think it's stupid, I don't in any way discount his feelings for it.
Perhaps it's a m/f thing, perhaps it's a personality thing, but some people have the capacity to put things out of their mind and miss the sense of urgency/import that the other person is feeling. We women grow up with the prince/princess/hero/happily-ever-after stories flowing around in our heads. When our "prince" doesn't respond in a manner consistent with how we think they should, we get disillusioned pretty quickly.
All I can say is how absolutely wonderful it would be to have a man come charging in, in spite of the OM competition, and declare their undying love and devotion, figuratively fighting for my affections. Fairy tale, I know.
All I can say is how absolutely wonderful it would be to have a man come charging in, in spite of the OM competition, and declare their undying love and devotion, figuratively fighting for my affections. Fairy tale, I know.
Well, a 'prince' would run the OM through with a sword... but that is fantasy.
Sorry Crazy, but it is just more B.S. that the WAW comes up with the to justify the fact that she is sleeping with another man. And yes, in MANY ways, what the WAS is doing is crazy... delusional. The OM is like a drug.
Do you really think that if AT had driven to central Florida and threw rocks at her window in the the middle of the night and was her 'Romeo' that she wouldn't still be with OM?? Seriously?
Okay... well, either way, we are getting off track. We can agree to disagree. This is AT's night. And he did absolutely GREAT!!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
She would be behaving in an entirely different manner, ie, depression, reaching out, etc. Not going on vacation with an OM.
BTW, this sounds an awful lot like she was doing the GAL'g proposed by DB to the LBS'ers.
There is NO question in my mind that the WAW is much better at DB than the LBS... it is natural for them because they are WAY detached when the f'ing walk away!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
well done AT! very happy to read your post. i think you did an amazing job. lots of strength and self respect. you definitely gave her a lot to digest and think about.
feel good AT (in spite of the hangover of course ;-) )
((( )))
busting
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Just relax for a while. That's all. Bask in your good night. Because it was a good night. Believe it or not.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
All I can say is how absolutely wonderful it would be to have a man come charging in, in spite of the OM competition, and declare their undying love and devotion, figuratively fighting for my affections. Fairy tale, I know.
Well, a 'prince' would run the OM through with a sword... but that is fantasy.
Sorry Crazy, but it is just more B.S. that the WAW comes up with the to justify the fact that she is sleeping with another man. And yes, in MANY ways, what the WAS is doing is crazy... delusional. The OM is like a drug.
Do you really think that if AT had driven to central Florida and threw rocks at her window in the the middle of the night and was her 'Romeo' that she wouldn't still be with OM?? Seriously?
Yea ... Maybe he should have romanced her back more than the OM as well.... You know lets go out for dinner honey and here is a dozen roses... and then have a good night with OM.... See you tomorrow for some foot rubs and get you all pretty for your date.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
