This is a very consistent theme here -- the idea that the WAS has to "convince" themselves of something. Or that their perspective is somehow "crazy." People respond to the same situation differently. I think if everyone here gave a little credence to what their spouses are telling them, instead of simply discounting it because it doesn't make sense to them, I believe many of the issues would be avoided. My H loves golf. I think it's one of the worst sports that exist. But simply because I think it's stupid, I don't in any way discount his feelings for it.
Perhaps it's a m/f thing, perhaps it's a personality thing, but some people have the capacity to put things out of their mind and miss the sense of urgency/import that the other person is feeling. We women grow up with the prince/princess/hero/happily-ever-after stories flowing around in our heads. When our "prince" doesn't respond in a manner consistent with how we think they should, we get disillusioned pretty quickly.
All I can say is how absolutely wonderful it would be to have a man come charging in, in spite of the OM competition, and declare their undying love and devotion, figuratively fighting for my affections. Fairy tale, I know.
