well, h and i have exchanged a few emails recently and they have been very nice and productive, to say the least.
i sent him one about some charges on one of our credit cards and he replied and thanked me for asking him kindly. i replied that i try to be kind but kindness has limits for people who aren't kind to me (thinking of his D) but talking about some people in our office. i think a little anger came through to him and his feelings got hurt and he just replied that he was only trying to thank me.
i told him i was sorry and didn't want to hurt his feelings and that it wasn't about him. i said that, since that email, i had started thinking about some times i've been used by others in our office. i went on to tell him about a few times that i've been hurt because he didn't defend me to others and let me down when i had stood up for him.
i explained "That's some of my hurts I deal with: the lack of loyalty I feel from you and the lack of empathy for me that I feel is missing. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm explaining my pain. You had your reasons and I can understand them but I just don't know if the person I am can suffer these things again in the future. It hurt so badly when I really stopped looking the other way or minimizing the true significance to me."
to my surprise, he replied that he was ashamed of himself for being that kind of person and asked me to forgive him.
he also said, "I am leaning to listen and not feel a reason to justify."
OMG! i think he's DB'ing me!
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
