W was out of town for 2 days this week. She booked at the last minute, and got a king bed, which I found extremely odd (she was supposedly sharing the room with a lady from work). There was very little communication during her absence.
All in all, I really struggled with negative thoughts while she was gone. Things have been going extremely well, but all of a sudden, all my thoughts were of the negatives. This was probably my biggest test since she's been back home and while I didn't bug her, didn't accuse her, didn't really even ask her anything, I still felt crappy.
When W got home yesterday, we did sit down for a few minutes and talk about my feelings and how we both have a lot of trust issues to work on. I took a risk of rocking the boat a little here and said we really need to start making some efforts to rebuild trust, on both sides. There has been some small things, but there are also quite a few things in the other direction. To my surprise, W was very open to it, agreed, and explained and apologized for not communicating more.
W also told me that she saw OM at the convention as well as another guy that she's spent some inappropriate time with. I really wish she would have told me this was likely before she left (cause I already assumed that she would see OM there), but the fact that she opened up about it was progress.
I try not to worry about the D papers and Jan date, but sometimes it weighs on me.
With all that said, this morning W asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and watch the baseball game this afternoon, which was cool. I was kinda thinking the same thing, so I'll just reset my brain to focus on the moments and enjoy them as much as possible.
