You'll probably hear all kinds of things.

I'm married, married people don't go out on dates.

But if your W is having an affair maybe the feelings you are having now give you some insight into what she was feeling when she was "just going out with a male friend", or seeking the company of a male friend or whatever her reasons were.

I don't see how you save a marriage by inviting other people into it.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss