My H is a Nice Guy, but he hasn't had the realizations you have. When he's being nice, it's great but when he's P/A and conflict avoidant, it's awful and as Rick said, a relationship buster.
Learn from that and grow.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss