you negated every single suggestion for GAL that was given and you ignored the list I gave you of mine, most of which cost very little.
YOU MUST DO BETTER at GAL and stop isolating.
OF course you should go to the comedy show (I'm doing a show this week myself and wish you could come and laugh. The only marriage jokes are ones my h has cleared! Of course, he didn't hear the one I dedicated to him in 2006...and never will)
Your d will benefit by the jokes you can tell her and by seeing you relaxed. Are there no people who can attend with you? I heard a lot of excuses about why it's SO HARD THERE
but dang, I was in the interior of Alaska and knew no one but h's colleagues at work AND had a newborn baby...
I did not surrender to the darkness, figuratively or literally.
Call another group or person. Esp parents of your d's friends, b/c they are a great source of socializing AND baby sitting is often not needed. I
nvite people to do things with you rather than waiting for their invite. If English is a barrier for them, try talking in THEIR language and put yourself out on the limb to "look stupid" instead of them. BEsides we all know they'll appreciate your efforts and no one will think you are stupid.
"Interview" them about their lives so the conversations move along and you learn something substantive.
YOU CAN DO BETTER...I KNOW IT!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yeah, in a way, you are right 25. I'm just crap at meeting people full stop. I don't feel comfortable but I have tried over the last few days and I have to say it's been successful. Last night, after work, I went to a cafe where many of my old circle occasionally hang out and bumped into an old acquaintance sitting with a few friends. She introduced me all around and I ended up having a good time talking with these new people. I got my acquaintance's number and we promised to keep in touch and she said she's let me know if anything happens (party, bbq, etc..).
While at that table, another old acquaintance showed up. Some guy I once played the guitar with a few years back. Again, we had a nice chat and exchanged numbers with a promise to get together this week to jam.
This evening, after my gig, I also made an effort to go talk to 2 young guys who seemed to have enjoyed the performance. It turns out they are musicians and one of them lives in my neighbourhood. We exchanged numbers and he promised to come by to jam at my house. His friend said he'd send me some of his original material to have a listen and we could try to work on arrangements together.
I feel better. Thanks 25 for the kick in the butt.
It seems my W is curious about the little GAL I've done as well. I guess she found out through the maid that I'd been out late last night so she asked me about it. I stayed vague and just said I'd been out. I'd also forgotten a gift one of my female student gave me (it's common for students to bring gifts to their teachers when they go out of town)on my dresser and it says "To Arsene from (female name)". My wife asked me about it saying:"you got a gift?". I simply replied "yeah" and moved on as if it was unimportant.
I've also noticed (from the corner of my eyes) that W has been checking me out when ever I walk around the house bare chested (which is a lot in this climate). I have to admit that I've not looked this good in 25 years and I flaunt it whenever I can. Also, today, when D8 asked W when she'd be back W said that maybe we should all do something together this Sunday. I didn't reply or even acknowledge but once W was gone, D8 looked at me with look of complicity, a huge smile and a thumb's up.
I'll let her bring it up again if she really wants to do it and I'm not getting excited about all of this because in the end, she'll do what she wants and what she feels like doing.
All of these are just baby steps. Nothing major.
Is she reconsidering us or is she simply happy that I appear to be moving on? Who knows? So there is no point getting excited.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Arsene, small positive changes are better than no changes or changes for the worse. I would focus on the small successes and see thing from this perspective. Ask yourself: is there a chance, small as it may be, that my W and I might save our M? If so, choose to think that. After all, it's the only way you have a chance to save it. Worst case scenario, you're wrong, but at least you were moving in the direction of your goal and not in any other direction. Hang in there.
It seems my W is curious about the little GAL I've done as well. I guess she found out through the maid that I'd been out late last night so she asked me about it. I stayed vague and just said I'd been out. I'd also forgotten a gift one of my female student gave me (it's common for students to bring gifts to their teachers when they go out of town)on my dresser and it says "To Arsene from (female name)". My wife asked me about it saying:"you got a gift?". I simply replied "yeah" and moved on as if it was unimportant.
I've also noticed (from the corner of my eyes) that W has been checking me out when ever I walk around the house bare chested (which is a lot in this climate). I have to admit that I've not looked this good in 25 years and I flaunt it whenever I can. Also, today, when D8 asked W when she'd be back W said that maybe we should all do something together this Sunday. I didn't reply or even acknowledge but once W was gone, D8 looked at me with look of complicity, a huge smile and a thumb's up.
I'll let her bring it up again if she really wants to do it and I'm not getting excited about all of this because in the end, she'll do what she wants and what she feels like doing.
All of these are just baby steps. Nothing major.
Is she reconsidering us or is she simply happy that I appear to be moving on? Who knows? So there is no point getting excited.
^^^ very, very good grasshopper...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Don't know. I thought the grasshopper reference was a Karate Kid reference. That's how "not up to date" I am on my movie quotes (probably comes from not having a TV for nearly 2 years). So what is the grasshopper from?
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
David Carradine was called "grasshopper" by his master in the 70's TV series Kung Fu. David was the most gentle laid back guy... until forced to defend himself. That's when the fun started!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Well, at least I was correct with the martial arts theme.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Well, at least there's a martial art link. I was not so far out.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
