Now Separated, Am I doing the right things?

[Denver_2010]

Sounds like you may be having a tough night Rough. I posted a story on Carnac's thread that I found early in S, and that I relied upon when I was really having a rough time... wondering why I was doing what I was doing... I'm going to post it here as well (since I still have the word doc open on my computer ;))

"There once was a man who was sentenced to 25
years of backbreaking labor. His wrists were tied
to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in
the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours
a day.

For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would
wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What
was the meaning of his work? What was on the
other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain?
Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyor
belt?

For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his
work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was
grueling, but he survived.

When his sentence was complete he was released
from prison. The first thing he did was run to
the other side of the wall to see what he had
been doing all this time.

What did he see?

Nothing!

There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25
years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel
for absolutely no purpose. When the man realized
his true sentence, he collapsed and died.

The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of
backbreaking labor, but when he realized that it
was all for nothing, he couldn't survive for
another moment.

So what's the difference between pain and
suffering?

Pain has a purpose.

Suffering is true torture because it has no
meaning.

Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is
devastating.

Ask any woman about child labor. How was it?
Would you do it again? Most women will answer: It
was painful, but I didn't suffer. I would do it
again.

This is the key to surviving marital problems and
making it through to a new love and peace with
your spouse.

If you think there's no purpose to your emotional
hurt, you'll just want out. You'll run from your
kids, your responsibility, your vows...you'll run
from it all just to get relief from an unbearable
suffering.

But if you can come to understand why you're in
this situation, then you'll succeed to make it
through like a woman in child labor.

Why is this happening to you? What are you
supposed to be learning from all of this? Can you
see how your marital problems are really an
opportunity for you and your spouse?"