Legally since he has he has been involuntarily committed before within the last 2 years and not on meds that wouldn't be such a hard thing to do. Especially since it was for rage and suicide/homicide ideation. In a nutshell about a year and a half ago, he was threatening to kill himself, me and anyone that tried to stop him. He had armed himself and headed into the woods behind my house. I managed to get my kids out and get out of here. At that point, I called the police. That was when the swat team came out. He was never charged with anything though. There was an agreement between the sheriff, our county attorney and myself to have him taken to the hospital. He stayed there for a while. They got him medication and got him into intensive counseling and he came back home and did outpatient counseling. Around the 1st of the year his insurance was changed. It no longer covered his meds specifically (abilify) so he had to wean off it. He has since refused all meds and all counseling. One of the reasons I believe he left was because I was pushing him to go back again.
In the past, the court would only allow him supervised visitation. I do not believe he would hurt my children. Apparently, some of his family members (father and step mother) are concerned though and made it a point to let me know this today.
He was just hurtful with his words which is a pretty normal pattern. I know he can only be hurtful if I am not detached. I think we know I am not detached. I'm trying. I have tried for a very long time to try to fix him and hold this all together. Maybe fix isn't the right word. But encouraged him to get help. I had even told him about 6 months ago when I noticed the depression getting worse and the suicide talk coming back that I would be okay with a separation or whatever if he needed that in order to get himself back together. I still feel that way. Our situation was very bad. It was abusive both verbally and mentally. Not just sometimes but literally every day. When he first left it honestly was a relief. Now though, I stay worried about him. Worried about the kids. Worried about everything. All these stupid things I have no control over. Although, his mental state and issues are part of the reason I haven't minded the contact and act as if things are hunky dory in the hopes it will help him. Also, so that I know he hasn't blown his head off. He has pretty much cut all contact with his family and most of his friends. Many of them had no idea he had even left and have stopped by to see him and he's gone. Then they try to call and he doesn't return their calls.
Yes, I do realize I am not his caretaker. Really. Although, that is the role I have played for some time now. It is difficult to just let go.
