I really don't know what the boundaries would be at all. Any suggestions?Its very hard for me to be in the same room with him while he is texting with OW or watch him "groom" himself before "going out for a while". That's when my anxiety rises.
OK, I think I understand a little better what you're getting at. If the EA is a PA now then yes, you may be right in asking him to leave. Especially in light of the fact that he's contributing nothing to the household. It might be ultimatum time where you sit down with him and lovingly tell him that you want to work on the M, but if he insists on continuing the A then you think it would be best for both of you if he moves out.
Quote:
I don't question who he is talking to, or where he goes but im told he is "cake eating" because he basically has free reign in our house right now
Cake eating is actively participating in two relationships at the same time, and it's especially cake eating if there's sex in both R's. I had the impression that your H was still considering reconciling, but was on the fence; that he was still in contact with OW but not in a PA. If that's the case then it's not cake-eating so much as just being undecided. But if there's a PA then that changes things.
Quote:
Am I stupid to still want to reconcile if he is sleeping with someone else?
Not at all! You have to decide for yourself is a PA is a deal killer for the M. For some it is, for others it isn't. DR has a chapter on infidelity that you might want to go back and read. Michele starts the chapter with hope, talking about how many M's have been saved after infidelity. I've tried to think about what I would do if I found out my W has a PA going on and honestly I don't know. But I tend to think I would still be willing to reconcile because neither of us were virgins when we met and that didn't stop us from falling in love, so why couldn't it happen again?
