Thank you so much AnotherStander, I'm so glad I have got support here so quickly and your kind words and advices are so appreciated. I tried to talk to my sister-in-law but she doesn't understand what is going on. And she influenced me somehow and I didn't like the outcome. Now I decided I'm not going to talk to her about it until maybe things got clearer. I need to make up my mind I guess. And I don't have my family here or my close friends right now, so, again, thank you so much for your support!!!
At this moment, it's really hard for me to have hope ( Just like my title of this post I guess..) but I'll work on improving myself. And I feel so much better to read your reply. Before this my only support are my parents....
Sometimes, it's hard for me to believe that he would care about how I look. He told me he felt like I just didn't care about him at all. But now, it's not easy for me to show him that I do care, and I met him twice since the D talk. I cried the first time and got sad the 2nd time for his distant behavior, so, I don't think I'm really capable of doing what i want to show him at the moment (it saddens me)...... But again, I'll work on being attractive, I did gain 20 lbs and turned into a not so positive person.
I'll look for that book, thanks for the recommendation!! Reading these books are scary but the same time very helpful. I say scary cuz it saddens me to see how everything happened between us fell into exactly what the author knew and tried to let people know long time ago..
