The crack in my perfect life...

[Sweetbriar]

Im trying to follow the "post in small frequent posts" advice! Last night, when H dropped the kids off from dinner, I was at a neighbors, so I missed the drop off. Apparently, H came in and went upstairs do older D's room to see all the new pictures she has hung on her walls. (This is a new things he has started since he left...putting up all kinds of pictures of us and the family and her and her friends along with quotes about memories) so he wanted to see it. While up there he gave her a hug and said that he loved her and they both started crying. He then told her that this "was best for all of us". She has also written him an angry letter in school for an assignment called "letter written but not sent" and she wrote many things in the letter that were straight from her heart. The letter was not nice and really portryed her emotions at this time. So, before he left she Gave him the letter! This surprised me that she did this.

When he got home, he texted her after reading the letter and said that he wished she wasnt in so much pain and that he wished he could take all her pain away...he also said that he hoped that some of the letter was a hyperbole and she responded by telling him that it was true. He said that that in time, the pain will dissiapate.

I was sad over this, seeing that even his daughter reaching out and trying to get him think straight left him only validating to her and himself this is the right thing for our family. Is this just his way of validating what he is doing and had done? Im so sad all the time...

Also, just a side note, when he arrived to pick them up, I was home and he came in and asked if he had any mail and saw the dogs. He NEVER made eye contact with me. He said "hey" and got the mail for him but never even looked at me. I mean, I am still his wife and I am carrying his baby...maybe just a "how are you feeling?" would have been nice...I guess that just expecting too much...

I wanted so badly to text him this morning and ask if he really thought this was best for all of us...but we are in NC mode and honestly, I think his answer would have ruined my day.

Sweetbriar