Going home

[needgrace]

Thank you unbidden, LITB and busting for the support and advice.

Today is my STBXW's birthday and I will send her a simple text wishing her a fun birthday.

I woke up feeling on edge but that feeling has shifted. I feel sad but peaceful now..

I am at peace with me right now. I feel proud of myself for what I have done in this past year to respect myself, my STBXW and our M.

I am at peace with where I am at. I am so much more confident that I can handle whatever life brings to me.

I feel more at peace with who I am. I feel deserving of love, from myself and others.

What I have learned... I knew it rationally but not emotionally.. is that the more I love myself, the more I can love others.

Months back, I had bought concert tickets to see Garbage, which is one of our favorite bands to see live. I bought the tickets in the hope that things would have changed and we would go together for her birthday. I knew it was a long-shot but I went ahead...

I feel as if this has been a turning point... in that I was able to have hope without expectations. I was able to go to the concert this week and have an amazing time without her.

It does not mean that I do not love her, it just means that I am okay no matter what.