I really am wearing down and this is just getting to be too much. I really don't know if I can put myself through all of this. I think I need to completely cut off all contact if possible and then once I finish school get the hell outta dodge.
Really sorry to hear about the setback. It sounded like things were going much better just a few posts ago, so perhaps this is just one of the lows. It would be nice if reconciliation was a nice straight path upwards, but unfortunately it tends to bounce up and down. Two steps forward, one back.
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Regardless of what anyone here says about detaching the fact of the matter is that this hurts even when you are fairly detached.
That's certainly true. No amount of detachment makes the pain go completely away.
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Surely he wouldn't do this to us again. You know? But he has. And doesn't seem to care that we are all so hurt. That's really it I think. He doesn't even care.
I think at some level WAS's and MLCers do care, but they sure don't show it on the outside. It seems that most do come to regret their actions later. Unfortunately many of them leave such a trail of damage in their wake that once they emerge from the fog there's no picking up the pieces.
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So whatever. I'm not sure I can keep doing this. I'm not sure I can keep getting kicked in the gut every time I see him.
I'm sorry you're hurting so much right now, that's going to naturally make you think you've been wasting your time. But give it a few days and see if you still feel the same way. This is an emotional roller coaster and we'd all love to just get off the darned thing, but you never know if the end may be just over the next rise.
