Things seem a little better, but H says that he feels like there is a "block" when he tries to get close to me? I don't know what that means and didn't want to push the issue, but it worries me. Also he still seems distant. smirk this whole thing is so exhausting and draining. I wish I was stronger I'm really trying to be. I wish I could say I love you to him, but I know he will not say it back and that breaks my heart.
He is away on a hunting trip, back in our home town for a few days, I feel like his sisters want us to D and he is staying with one of them. I really hope I'm wrong but they all hate me cause they blame me for moving their little bro away from them. I know I over think stuff, I need to stop. That is what makes him mad at me , the weird negative crap I think:/ . So I'm not going to call or mention any of this garbage which is probably what it is anyway.
I know I gotta start thinking about what I want to do know. It's weird for me cause all I know since I was 17 was H and my kids lives. I never got to do my own thing, my parents kicked me out because I was dating H.
I need to build more confidence in myself to finish school. How I don't know, right now getting threw a day without crying is good smirk
I'm pissed at myself for feeling this way

M36
H39
S16 S14
M17
T18