I feel for you. You are not alone. I am going through a very similar sitch with my H. I just posted in the newcomers section and am waiting for it to be approved. I did a lot of reading thru these forums and there is so much love and good advice. Hang in there. My H has been gone for 3 months now and is actively having an A with OW. We've been together 13 years and got married last Oct.Oh, how I know about those nightmares. Sometimes I even felt scared to go to sleep because they were so bad and I would wake up with such horrible anxiety. But with the help of friends and family I finally started working out and updating my looks and getting my confidence back. Sometimes I think about the OW too much and it takes it toll. I'm DOING MY BEST to stop doing that, it's hard when those thoughts just creep in. Never lose HOPE and never allow someone to rob you of it. I believe in my heart that my H will be back someday, until then I am taking this time for myself because that's all can do at this point. FAITH LOVE AND HOPE---YOUR NOT ALONE AND WE WILL GET THRU THIS!! (((()))) AF30
