Wow, do they not realize that he's still married, to someone who isn't their daughter?
It sounds like they don't have very good boundaries.
So sorry that you feel like you're going crazy. I've had that feeling a few times myself.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
I think it's crazy!!! I called my mom about it and she said they must be as crazy as he is! She said there is no way I would ever support my daughter seeing a married man whether he has filed for divorce or not!! But then again these are the same people who helped H sneak OW's kids to an amusement park so they could be with mine. That was in violation of the court order. He thinks I don't know about it. He would be surprised at what I know. He thinks he is so smart and wily. He's just a big fool.
Something is rotten in
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
wising, The ow's parents most likely do not know the truth about the situation. Mlcers have a way of taking the brush and painting such a horrible picture of their lives and people who do not know them or their past actually believe them.
Society has changed drastically over the years and people today are getting married 2, 3, 4 or more times and not blinking an eye. Marriage isn't sacred any longer to some folks. Obviously the ow's parents are tickled to death to have your h there supporting their daughter and grandchildren in activities, etc. Maybe they are looking at him as the "meal ticket" for them. We don't know what sob story he's fed them along the way, but I would venture to say it's one of those stories where you need a tissue to dry your eyes.
Wishing, I'm sorry that you are going through this. Document everything and do not show your hand of cards to your h. You may need all of the information that you discover later on...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snod. I always look forward to your replies.
I keep a journal and I write everything down. And I NEVER reveal my cards to H. Ever. He keeps wondering how I find out everything I find out. Honestly he leaves a trail. Does he realize he is leaving a trail or is he leaving the trail intentionally? Hmmm???
And my Lawyer told his to have him remove the picture of the two of them that is by his bedside. The lawyer refused saying that it was within his "civil liberty" to have it there. True, but it is not good judgement and I don't think it will be held favorably in a court of law.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Mlcers tend to tell on themselves. They forget that we are smarter and more rational than they are when they are in the depression fog. It's not done intentionally, in most instances. Bottom line, they just don't think.
As for the photo, even if it's not good judgment, you can't request that he remove it. Sorry!
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The lawyers point was the photo is in front of the kids and they aren't to be around OW at all or exposed to her in any way. But whatever.
He texted me this am that he would call the kids between 7-7:30. Of course that did not happen. He called after they got on the bus. He said the meeting ran long but I don't believe him. His kids just are not a priority. I didn't even tell them he was going to call. I told him to call them after school.
Another day on the crazy train. Lol!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Wishing, Your story is so similar to mine. While I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation in a strange way it is comfortin for me to hear that there are other people who have to deal with a spouse who behaves in thus way. My husbands ow is a teacher at my children's school. He introduced their relationship to the children two weeks ago after the psychologist treating my son told him it would be detrimental to the children to do so. I know all about the selfish crazy spouse! Hang in there.
Thanks Lasa. I know it is comforting to know you are not the only one who is going through this ordeal. So many of us. It's unbelievable that so many marriages are in peril. Such a shame.
And yes does not see the problem with the kids meeting OW because she "is t a threat". This after we attended parenting class that specifically stated do not bring your kids around other people too soon. H said "that only applies if you are dating multiple people. I'm only dating one person". That's right...bend the rules so they don't apply to you. Whatever it takes to clear his conscience I guess.
H gets back from overseas tomorrow. Back to life in crazyland for another week. I'll try to hang on as best that I can.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So happy birthday to me. Cards from the kids yesterday along with a Halloween decoration-a pumpkin candle holder. I love Halloween and so do my kids so it was very special to me.
So today (my actual birthday) I got a happy birthday email at work telling me how much he cared for me and wants to be there for the little things. I didn't respond because I did not want to get sucked in. So to tonight he hands me a beer and says you deserve at least one little drink on your special day. I said thank you and smiled. So I go upstairs to "my room" and see a card sitting on my pillow. Of course it was from H. He wrote about how much he cares for me and how special I am to him. He told me "you have given me so much including two beautiful children" and signed it "best wishes, h xoxo".
So I don't know if he is being sincere or just trying to suck me in so he can have his cake and eat it to. I do NOT want to get back on the roller coaster. So I am remaining detached. I could use some thoughts here.
Thanks!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Your h could have been having a "lucid" moment since it's your birthday. I wouldn't get my hopes up too high w/the card because mlcers tend to do nice things periodically and then go right back down into the rabbit hole. I would thank him for the beautiful card.
Continue to keep your expectations at zero. Continue to remain detached. Time will tell if he is cake eating.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
