Thanks. I also have an article on 180s as well. I think the best way to detach is to ask him to leave, its the only way I can take back control of my life which is the ultimate detachment in my opinion. But being the once WAS, I worry to him it'll just be more of the same behaviour and push him closer to OW. I'm sorry for some of my questions but can you explain "counterintuitive actions"? He's never responded to anything I've said to him about "us" not that I have recently. Sometimes it feels like mixed messages, like when after my daughter goes to bed, I've been retreating to "my" bedroom (so this is a DB tactic correct?) But yet he will come in and say goodnight. Or he will ask me where I was when I was out. But then I think I'm just reading too much into it. Time will tell I guess. I am going to ask him to leave on Monday after thanksgiving.
