Slightly hopeful optimist..

[25yearsmlc]

Also W's bday is in two weeks. I have a non romantic gift that I know she will use that I am buying for her. I am debating on whether to get her a card or not and if I do I know I will not get a romantic one, I might just make one.
I am working out tonight. Gonna be a tough one but I am getting in the best shape of my life.

Don't know about bringing up the MC homework. Wait til later for sure. You have almost 3 weeks, right? Why so infrequent?

I wish you'd either go to Retrovaille and get it started in one weekend so you can jumpstart this marriage -

or go to Essential Experience on your own, on the east coast (don't know where you live though but check out their website).

Since Individuals can do it, you don't need her to come or agree. It's very clarifying and strengthening and a lot of DBers have found it VERY helpful.

it's not just for marriage r's though, but for your whole life. Like taking a scenic overlook to decide where you are and where you really want to go.

I thought it was the single most profound workshop experience of my life. H went to it after I did, solely b/c he saw changes in me. He's not the type to do something like that without knowing it works.

As for the birthday card, you can thank her for being in your life, like a CLOSE friend...or someone who might be moving away.

It's "real" but it's not pursuit. Express no regrets or sadness.

But Show that you are in a good place. (SHE can contrast that card with previous year's if she wants...when she's not with you and has time to think clearly).

Try hard to NOT be in a state of fear.

The more you let fear dictate your emotions, the more you'll radiate that.

You will be alright after all is said and done b/c you are working on YOU.

She may have a rude awakening down the road but you have already had yours. Honestly, if you become the man you were meant to become,

your next r, with or without h, will be a lot more rewarding and SOLID than this one has been.

Do you see that it IS possible for you to be happy without her?

Can you envision what that life, "happy, but without her", looks like?

Be detailed & specific in your imagination...

what are you doing in your new life, who are you hanging with, what job do you have, where do you live, what new hobbies or passions are you pursuing...

So, which of those^^ things, can you create in your life, NOW?