So, I feel like my life continues to get harder...NC for 11 days except for a text asking if he can get the kids for dinner. H did come here last week when I was gone and told my kids some strange things like: his lawyer told him to not contact them (lies) and that he is getting his own place soon right near our house and that they will have 2 happy homes. Is he living in a fantasy world? He cannot afford our bills let alone new ones...I'm beginning to fear that he really is going to go thru with the forclosure on our house...ugggg...that is why I was so quick to get a lawyer, because I need stability for the next year of our separation...
I went to IC today and tried to set some goals for myself to help detach. Its so darn hard...I even find myself a tad jealous that my girls get to spend time with him tonight at dinner. I want them to see him, but miss him so much that I wish we could be a family at dinner. I still am having a hard time that he was just begging to come back 2 weeks ago and now because I put conditions on him to come back he gave up. I guess that means he wasn't really ready, right? I figure that if he was ready to have us back, he would jump through the hoops and hurdles he is claiming I am giving him...
I know that being pregnant is making this that much harder on me. He doesn't even ask how I'm feeling or how my doc appts are going??? So different from the man I knew. I cry all the time, which is not like me at all, so I'm thinking that my hormones are not helping with my emotions!! I just want my old life back and I need help to realize that its not happening and that I need to move on. I have tons of friends and I am busy a lot between my kids, my friends and my big supportive family, but yet, it's not my H, the one who I could always count on for everything...he has gone crazy??
I continue to read posts here and get advice...but its so hard to see that there will be a light at the end one day....any advice is welcome...I'm thinking he is in a MLC...
