Labug this is absolutely right: "we're only in limbo if we THINK we're in limbo" I believe I create my own reality with my thoughts. So when I think - we're going to get divorced then the actions I take and feelings I have align with that thought.
There is a Chinese Proverb that puts it quite simply: Watch your thoughts: they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
No example of this is clearer to me than my current situation. Last winter the negative belief/meaning that I attached to H’s moving out again was having a crippling emotional effect on me. As I grappled with the feelings surrounding the potential outcome that I really didn’t want, I acted as if it was truly going to happen. I even started talking about it. Looking back I see that I effectively manifested the circumstances that I continue to live today. However, the outcome that I was so fearful of has still not materialised. Just because he moved out again didn't mean we would get divorced. I believe this is because I changed my belief and thoughts about the his action, detached the D outcome from it and focused on my Self.
I am glad that through your advice and other's comments I am back focusing on me rather than what might happen.
