The problem is that I can do the chores with her and give her a back massage and she is still not interested. This is not to say that she will not have sex with me, but it seems entirely like she is doing it for me when she does (which is decidedly not as fulfilling). She does get aroused and climax however in the course of things. The issue is that this is a purely physical reaction for her and she claims that she does not feel the emotional involvement that she wants to feel. But to your point, the love bank needs to be filled and perhaps the emotions will come with it.
Reading your OP again it's just been a month since she ended her affair, so it's likely that she's still grieving that loss. That doesn't mean it's fair to you or that it's "right", but it's a natural reaction to losing someone you're really attached to. It may take her quite a while to sort through her emotions on that. Perhaps for now it would be best to just detach and let her heal from that first? And by detaching I mean that in the DB sense, as in lovingly giving her space and working on yourself, not ignoring her. You should be available to her if she wants to talk, but give her space if it seems like she doesn't.
