For those of you who asked, GIFTS is not one of my LL's...but, when I receive a gift I do want that gift to have SOME thought given to it. I also feel that if asked SPECIFICALLY for what I want then the gift should fit in with what I have said or with the list that I have given (does that make sense?). Receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable to some extent...I'm not sure WHY but it seems like I have always been that way. Since I am also not the most tactful person in the world I tend to let the giver know that I don't care for the gift if such is the case.
H and I discussed this in detail when we first got together. The most feasible solution we came up with was for me to give him a list, noting the things that I preferred the most. This has served well for the most part but H has pretty much gotten me everything that I have put on my lists over the past few years...actually, he got me all my BIG wish items last year in his efforts to COVER UP his indiscretions. I guess I basically felt put on the spot when asked for a list AFTER telling H I only wanted ONE thing
I don't think it helped any that lately H and I have been having communication problems and in trying to rectify those H told me that when he says something, what he says is EXACTLY what he means He has told me this repeatedly the past few weeks, I guess because my experience tells me that is more the exception to the rule then the rule itself. It finally sinks in, so when H told me that he didn't really put any thought into the gift BUT had put a great deal of thought into what HE wanted...well, that just didn't go over well
H asked me yesterday if I was disappointed by what he gave me. I told him yes, at first I was pretty disappointed but that it was growing on me the more I looked at it. I told him that his telling me he didn't put but 5 min. thought into hadn't helped. He then tells me " Hon, I was just JOKING when I said that! It took me quite a while to decide what I wanted to give you." AAAARRGHHHHH!
Can you see the insanity???
We did have a good weekend, spent a great deal of quality time together. I made one tiny slip-up yesterday...I had a seizure while we were at Wal-mart and I apologized for it before I realized it. This is something I know H really hates for me to do, he says it is stupid to apologise for something I have no control over. I later told him that it embarrased ME when that happened in a public place and I wondered if he might feel the same.
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Of course, my butt is chapped about them right now. This was suppose to be a joint venture and what happens?? Zoo is up at 7 am cleaning and feeding chicks all by herelf I told H before we got them that if this was something that was going to fall all on my shoulders that I didn't want them. I already take care of all the animals we currently have (4 dogs, 4 cats, 2 snakes and a conure) plus I have the garden that will be solely my responsibility. H ASSURED me that he would be doing most of the chicken care.
GRRRRRRR!
I am in a mood today. It seems like this is beginning to become the norm for me rather then the exception
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Zoo, My H use to do this to me! Not anymore. I am free to do what I want, when I want! Now either H has to take care of hatching and chicks or someone else is. If someone else is, they will "see" and think the same as I did, why am I left holding the bag.
Little chicks are a lot of work~ they eat, drink and poop! So you are either watering, feeding or changing their papers! Do you have a pen or housing ready for them? I have a little building and take drop cords out to the building and put a lamp on them. I usually keep them in the house for about a month so I can keep a close eye on them. Then outside to the pen! I had a pen last year that had wiring in the bottom; the small squares, kind; use it on rabbit pen bottoms. And then I moved the pen around when the crap got too high! I also had some boards they could stand on. Got a hugh waterer and only had to fill it every other day. Also put the feed in 2 qt jars and screwed a feeder on the bottom; automatic feeder! Anything to make it easier for me! LOL.
Which reminds me, i need to work on the building and get my laying hens out of the other pens. My work is never done!
Got into the chick discussion today with H. He informed me that HE wasn't getting up at no 7am to take care of them...told me it wasn't necessary?
Now I realize that H doesn't like to have his sleep messed with (who does??) so I asked him for a different solution then since my concern was for their light cycle. Granted, I don't have experience with chickens but I DO have it with parrots and the like and light cycle is important with them. I also pointed out that I have been changing their water 3 times a day and at 7 the darn thing was usually empty and nasty (these chicks play in it?).
His solution was to either do it all before we went to bed or at least change the water then. Our bedtime varies (usually between 3 and 6 am) so I'm thinking we are going to have some pretty confused chicks so then my concern turns to stressing them out
I guess we'll try it his way and see what happens...at least he helped me handle them today.
Deb, we keep the chicks in an old Purina brooder up in our loft/computer room...H is SUPPOSE to start working on the henhouse/run here in a couple of weeks.
You asked on your thread(?) about the place we got our chicks from. I don't think I can say enough GOOD about them H was actually shocked at the size of the chicks (big) when they arrived and all appear to be THRIVING We haven't had any pecking problems or anything. Looks like we are going to have 31 chickens .
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
All in all, your situation looks ok, right now. I don't imagine it has always been this way. And I suspect it took a LOT of work on your part to get headed this way.
I am constantly impressed my how much effort the LBS puts into reviving the M, especially when the WAS seems to have NO interest and though I may not see it right now, it gives me hope. You appear to have done an amazing job.
"I am in a mood today. It seems like this is beginning to become the norm for me rather then the exception."
But you recognize your "moods" and know now how to handle them. Great strides, I suspect.
Yes, I worked hard to get to where we are right now but the one thing i can't stress enough is that the work is continual...you NEVER stop having to DB, it does become a way of life.
Quote: I am constantly impressed my how much effort the LBS puts into reviving the M, especially when the WAS seems to have NO interest and though I may not see it right now, it gives me hope. You appear to have done an amazing job.
That is the whole concept of "it takes one to Tango". The LBS HAS to do all the work since they are the one who DOESN'T want the M to fail. They are the one to initiate the changes necessary and they usually go it alone except for the support and guidance they get from the BB. I don't know that I am one to admire much though, there are some on the BB who have been doing this for YEARS and persevere and refuse to give up. It proves that if you want and believe in something bad enough you are WILLING to do WHATEVER it takes to make it happen. It often means setting aside a certain amount of pride, bending your moral values and taking a great deal of verbal and emotional bashing...for me it was worth it in the long run though. I still have issues I am working through and while I may vent and lament on occasion I know that eventually they will become non-issues...I AM that determined.
Quote: But you recognize your "moods" and know now how to handle them. Great strides, I suspect.
LOL...sometimes I think it really sucks that I recognize my moods. It tends to take away any ability to wallow in them and enjoy ( ) them for any length of time. I actually may have chased down the current culprit for my moody state and it is making me none to happy.
Hope to see you posting on other's threads as well
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Well, my anniversary has come and gone. We made it through another year...hopefully I'll never have to go throughanother one like this last ever again though
We didn't do anything special really, I guess to H we pretty much celebrated it this past weekend so it was more or less just another work day for him. He did wish me Happy Anniversary though and said he thought he'd keep me around at least another 4 years
I didn't get him a gift though, that is still bugging me to no end. I did send him an E-card (I had no way to get into town to buy one) and I made him soemthing TOTALLY different for supper. HE IM'd me when he got the e-card and thanked me for it (as well as thanking me for it when he got home from work, before we went to sleep, when we got up the next morning and before he went back to work... :griN) and he said he really enjoyed supper even though the flavors were something he had never experienced before. I decide to delve into the mysteries of Indian cuisine and was actually quite pleased with myself I managed to balance the complexity of flavors in a freestyle Chicken Curry with Cous Cous. The only shorcut I took was with the cous-cous, I went the quick cook route I will definitely be making more Indian food in the future
Next culinary escapade----GREEK!
We have been having quasi-R talks thoughout the week. I know, BAD ZOO, but there was some stuff I just HAD to get out of my brain...I was starting to go a little over the edge H was patient about it even though his perception of things is a bit different from mine. I told him of my fears and my seeming inability to understand some of the shifts that have occurred lately. He didn't tell me that my fears were stupid or anything but did say that they were needless and that he felt we were making good progress in the R. I have been having a problem understanding the change in our sex life (a noted decrease ) and he apologised and said that if I didn't initiate things then there was bound to be less because lately it has been the LAST thing on his mind.
I have a problem with this becuase prior to the new year this wasn't the case. H was initiating more then I was and it seemed like we just couldn't get enough of each other I worry that my intiating all the time will lead to eventual rejection (I don't deal well with this) or be viewed as Bad pursuit behaviour (clingy,needy etc). Not to mention that it is nice once in awhile to feel desired without having to push the issue This has always been a problem area for us and one that I sometimes wonder if we'll ever work the kinks out of.
I guess that is all for now...my head is muddy feeling and I think it is time to take a nap
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
"I guess that is all for now...my head is muddy feeling and I think it is time to take a nap."
A nice long 6 month nap. Wow, is all I can say. You are doing great. You are in a position and place where you can say what you are feeling or what is worrying you. And there may be anger or frustration on both parts, but that is SO much better than NOTHING. What I would give to be there.
I told H before we got them that if this was something that was going to fall all on my shoulders that I didn't want them. I already take care of all the animals we currently have (4 dogs, 4 cats, 2 snakes and a conure) plus I have the garden that will be solely my responsibility. H ASSURED me that he would be doing most of the chicken care.
) them for any length of time. I actually may have chased down the current culprit for my moody state and it is making me none to happy.