Well, my anniversary has come and gone. We made it through another year...hopefully I'll never have to go throughanother one like this last ever again though

We didn't do anything special really, I guess to H we pretty much celebrated it this past weekend so it was more or less just another work day for him. He did wish me Happy Anniversary though and said he thought he'd keep me around at least another 4 years

I didn't get him a gift though, that is still bugging me to no end. I did send him an E-card (I had no way to get into town to buy one) and I made him soemthing TOTALLY different for supper. HE IM'd me when he got the e-card and thanked me for it (as well as thanking me for it when he got home from work, before we went to sleep, when we got up the next morning and before he went back to work... :griN) and he said he really enjoyed supper even though the flavors were something he had never experienced before. I decide to delve into the mysteries of Indian cuisine and was actually quite pleased with myself I managed to balance the complexity of flavors in a freestyle Chicken Curry with Cous Cous. The only shorcut I took was with the cous-cous, I went the quick cook route I will definitely be making more Indian food in the future

Next culinary escapade----GREEK!

We have been having quasi-R talks thoughout the week. I know, BAD ZOO, but there was some stuff I just HAD to get out of my brain...I was starting to go a little over the edge H was patient about it even though his perception of things is a bit different from mine. I told him of my fears and my seeming inability to understand some of the shifts that have occurred lately. He didn't tell me that my fears were stupid or anything but did say that they were needless and that he felt we were making good progress in the R. I have been having a problem understanding the change in our sex life (a noted decrease ) and he apologised and said that if I didn't initiate things then there was bound to be less because lately it has been the LAST thing on his mind.

I have a problem with this becuase prior to the new year this wasn't the case. H was initiating more then I was and it seemed like we just couldn't get enough of each other I worry that my intiating all the time will lead to eventual rejection (I don't deal well with this) or be viewed as Bad pursuit behaviour (clingy,needy etc). Not to mention that it is nice once in awhile to feel desired without having to push the issue This has always been a problem area for us and one that I sometimes wonder if we'll ever work the kinks out of.

I guess that is all for now...my head is muddy feeling and I think it is time to take a nap

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi