So I understand now that my W is not satisfied with sex with me. She still has it with me however. She is leaving to visit a friend this weekend (just for a visit) and that has made me a little more edgy as well. We are both still working on the marriage. But we need to reconnect somehow. Any suggestions on ways for this to happen?
Have you read the 5 Love Languages? If not, get it right away. It's available via electronic download and you can read it right on your computer, so you can start reading it minutes from now and it sounds like you need to. Usually when a woman says there are problems in sex men think she wants to try some new position or technique, but in fact they're usually talking about the whole approach, not the act itself. Men just have an on/ off switch, we can come home, complain about work, gripe about the news, scream at the TV if our team is losing and then go into the bedroom, flip the switch and be ready for sex in seconds. That's not how it works for women. They don't have a switch, they have a rheostat that needs to be slowly turned up. Foreplay for them should take hours if not all day. It comes in the form of loving gestures such as helping with house chores, giving them a back and/ or leg rub, talking to them kindly. They need the emotional connection BEFORE the physical one. Usually when they say "I'm not satisfied with our sex life" they're saying "I hate that you ignore me and reject me all day long and then expect sex that night". The 5LL teaches you how to continuously keep her love tank full and will also teach you what your primary love language is as well as hers, and what expectations are regarding acts of love. Start reading it and start filling your W's love tank. It's not a quick fix for getting some good sex, it's a new way of life and that's how you should look at it Good luck!
Good luck!
